"No, really, I"m OK to drive."
--I"m wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
"I"m not used to these darts."
--I"m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.
"You get this one, next round is on me."
--We wont be here long enough to get another round.
"I"ll get this one, next one is on you."
--Happy hour is about to end...now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they"ll be $4.50 a pop.
"Lets get out of here."
--I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guys helmet.
"Can I get a glass of white zinfindel?"
--I"m gay.
"Ever try a body shot?" (Male to female)
--I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.
"I"ve had like 10 beers already."
--I"ve only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.
"Whos got the next round?"
--I havent bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.
"Excuse Me." (male to female)
--I am going to grope you now.
"I"m out of here, I have to work in the morning."
--I owe that guy who just walked in the door 100 bucks and have been avoiding him since football season.
"What do you have on tap?"
--Whats cheap?
"Can I just get a glass of water?"
--Its 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking 1/2 hour ago. Hell, I probably dropped half of my paycheck in here last night, so its the least you can do for me.
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