What a woman says, what she really means...
I need = I want
We need = I want
Its your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...go ahead = I dont want you to
I"m not upset = Of course I"m upset, you moron!
Youre so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Youre certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I"m not emotional! And I"m not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I"m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today youre really going to hate
I"ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I"m beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, youre dead
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I"m sorry = You"ll be sorry
I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe? = Its easy to fix, so you"d better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why dont you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I"m not yelling! = Of course I"m yelling, this is important!
What a man says, what he really means...
I"m hungry = I"m hungry
I"m tired = I"m tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I"d eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I"d eventually like to have sex with you
Would you like to dance? = I"d eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I"d eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
Whats wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now?
You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesnt even look different!
I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin" dress and lets go!
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